I think I just saw someone hide a body.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
