We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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