Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
