We're like a lot better than the average bears
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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