all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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