i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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