i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
