The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I see more hoeing in ur future
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
