Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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