yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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