If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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