That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
