So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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