Cold hands, warm shart.
Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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