how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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