well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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