I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize