He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
