Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
