11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
