There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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