You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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