Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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