im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
