listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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