Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
