I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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