hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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