Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.

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(314): View more from Missouri

my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them

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(917): View more from New York City

Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.

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(772): View more from Florida

You took a bar mat shot.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.

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(517): View more from Michigan

This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.

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(917): View more from New York City

I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Why are you hurting?

(630): View more from Illinois

Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.

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