Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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