she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
