btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
