Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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