I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
