whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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