I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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