FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
