my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
