Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
