Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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