If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
There are leaves in my underwear?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
