i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Is her dick bigger than yours?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
