3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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