I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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