i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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