There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
