I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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