THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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