I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
