She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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