Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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