sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
