I wanna bring you to show and tell
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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