check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
