put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Still dying that you shit outside
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
