If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize