she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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