I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
