Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
