thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
