You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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