you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
