like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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