you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
