Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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