so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
