she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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