Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
