Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
