It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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