babies were throwing up all over the place
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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