He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize