Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
