It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
