At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize