Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
