totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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