OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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