It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
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