As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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