So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
